10/01

I fell asleep to
the first episode
of the first season
of Seinfeld tonight;
I mean, last night.

I mean, I was high,
but I’ve been low;
I’ve been lonely,
but not alone;
I’m better now.

12 Steps

The scariest thing
about suicide
is probably failing.

Think about all
the times you’ve
slipped up some.

Have you ever
smoked a pipe
dream clean?

Have you ever
split your skull
like a coconut?

Listen, just lick
some citric acid;
screw doctors.

What’s worse:
Health insurance
companies or...

Trick question—
nothing is worse
than those fuckers!

Goddamn, I miss sex;
I miss lust and love
and just having fun.

I kid you not—
I am no longer
a kid; I’m a dad.

Lately, I walk long
walks with my dog
and my walkman.

I listen to Pussy Cats
purr into my eardrums
as I snake mini-mounts.

Oh, the heights I’ll climb
to just get away from it all;
but hey, shit could be worse.

20th Century Judgment

I wish I could see my old friends again
I miss the sound of smoker’s cough

If there was something I could say
That would make you want to stay

I guess I would tell you that I forgive
All the times you chose to forget

24-Hour Deli Poem

I’ve crossed this town
again and again, and I
ask again and again,
“What have I found?”

Some men can be
so spineless, and
some women are
just faux feminists.

In this world, you
must decide if you
want grape juice
or red, red wine.

I can’t contemplate
any of this shit, though,
until my veggie matzah
ball soup sits down.

Did you know this place
is, like, where Aerosmith
got discovered or signed
or something like that?

A Hint of Roses / A Tint Exposed

Someday, someday,
I’ll bring the bizarre bag
and the contextual cap
to the motley masses
of Manhattan—I will!

But today, today,
I’ll be getting poked
with needles until
I get the nerve to
be more of myself.

A Life

Eat
Drink
Smoke
Fuck

A Piece of Justice

I failed two boys
with my revisions.

It was only temporary,
but I still felt guilty.

I’d like to apologize,
and for once, I would

like more thought
to be put into prayers.

A Sadness Is Here

Pour the liquids from
spheres or cylinders.

Hey, it’s gonna get wet
sooner or later, okay?

How soon is now?
How late is never?

A sadness is here,
and it’s here to stay.

A Slow Descent

nicely
nicely
nicely
now

c’mon
c’mon
c’mon
down

A Tableau of Realness

I sniffed a whiff of whiskey and saw some cherry blossoms sprouting up for late-night love as I surveyed the sidewalk scene over the edge of a ledge in the quarter-life crisis headquarters of Southern California.

I felt more alive than I have since I drove down to San Pedro last weekend, which was the happiest I had been since I had hung out in Long Beach a few weeks back, which was the best day I had experienced since I can’t remember.

If only I could be convinced that at least a few people might miss me, I would happily try to swim to Japan, drowning somewhere near Catalina.

A Whole Lot of Love (and Hate)

Your raised ceiling
can take a seat
on the 13th floor.

While I’m waiting
for you
to get straight,
I’ll listen to the rain
shatter glass
like a crooked cop
on a coffee break.

Money is power;
power costs, though.

“What’s love got to do
with anything?”

That’s the type of shit
white-collar criminals
like to shout out
when the bros
bust out the blow.

“We’re like a family.”

That’s the type of fast
and loose delusional babble
that makes me furious.

Additional Additions

Will you grant me clemency
for my unfortunate redundancy?

I stack statements like rappers
stack paper; don’t bank on it.

I frack the filth in my own mind,
not the dirt of the Earth, duh.

Will you please allow me to slip up
while I run down all of my lists?

After Life Comes

Break the grate
and crash the gate:
these are the words
of a man’s absurd
dream conceived
on a slim whim.

I simply wheel
front and back
until I can steal
goals off racks.

The eye becomes
the why in the knot.

There is no me;
there is no god.

But if you have no faith,
you have nothing; so then,
I guess, what is at stake?

And if there is no stake,
then there is no point,
and then, well, okay.

After Words

I so often regret
the ones I forget.

I am beyond the parts
you wanted us to play.

I am beneath myself
in so many old ways.

It’s springtime again
so I guess I’m new.

I’ll fall down again
just to please you.

Aging Sensations

You were what I thought
I wanted but now you are
not quite what I might need.

Agita

Can you please give me
just one single moment
to feel somewhat at peace?

Alacrity

Activate me
over and over
again and again

I wonder when
it’ll ever be close
to the end of men

Until then I will
just smile with my
mouth closed shut

Alive with Pleasure to Burn

Suck it in,
suck it up;
breathe me,
be with me.

Almost Actuarial

Sometimes I unwind by reminding myself of all the things I could have done in an alternate life. This is not healthy. If I die tomorrow, I guess we can focus on the life I have actually lived.

American River

I went goo-goo
for a Georgian
flower that had
just begun to
sprout up in the
late-spring sun.

The circumstances
were fraught, filled
with the foggy web
of a Monday drag.

I went cuckoo
for nostalgia,
and I must say,
I do miss the Bay;
maybe next year,
we can head north?

Perhaps post-mist,
we can have a cow
somewhere along
the American River?

American Spirit

It’s okay to feel good;
it’s okay to feel bad.

It’s okay to eat wood,
even if you never have.

Ferment and explode;
forget all your woes.

It could always be worse,
from the back of a hearse.

Amusement

I make a drop
to add a stop
on my not-so-
merry carousel.

And there you go,
sending me notes
(digitally, of course).

“Okay, okay,” I say;
you say, “Okay,” too.

So we agree then?

Another Anniversary

Remember when you
could remember when
you were happier than
you were before you
knew what you know?

I would love for you to
remind me of the times
we told each other how
we would never give up;
we shouldn’t, you know?

Aqua Force

There’s a blue blur
on a stretchy stretch
of skinny skin; am I
some kind of alien?

Attentive Attenuation

I never had to think about
moths before I moved
to the mountain.

Now I watch holes appear
in my head as they go
inside my closet.

If I could just let go of myself
maybe I might become
a better Buddhist.

(At the) Promenade

Ashes and ashes
are falling down
all around me.

I was once told
that’s the bargain
you requested.

What does that mean,
and who said that;
what was that anyway?

Okay, listen to me:
I’d garden for you.

And I’d pile goods,
but that’s not ideal.

I’ve been to many
malls in my life,
but I don’t get it.

What is the point
of Marshalls or
T.J. Maxx, huh?

Capitalism is a cancer,
for which there is no
cure—how obvious?

Au Natural Air Conditioning

It was in the final minutes
of a late summer night;
some of us had driven
down the mountain
at 88 miles per hour.

Monsters began to mosh—
no saints, no devils; all
characters are fictions
of our minds to be flayed
at a later time and date.

The music continued
to bump and thump
from the patriotic whip;
the billboards kept on
telling us lies we’re owed.

So I sewed pieces of peace
into each of my blazers;
the time has come to jump
ship and swim from one
large island to a larger one.

Axis & Evil

Coyotes attacked my gourd
Rawness is my norm

Wildness in the world
Making days spin and swirl

Baba, Baby

Watch my son
roll in the sun.

It’s my favorite
thing to do
during the day,
nowadays.

Once the moon
comes out,
we splash bath
water around.

It’s my favorite
thing, period.

Baby Mama

I swear she always
wants to give me shit
while I pacify myself.

Roll over for laughs,
reel it in for reality,
and silently nod.

Bachelor of Arts

A baguette is like a spine,
a croissant is like a dog.

Oui! Don’t bend over to anybody,
and don’t walk back anything.

*

Butter up language like
a free jazz jam session.

Grease up the delivery
like a hoagie hesher.

*

If you’re hungry for knowledge,
don’t go to overpriced colleges.

Get a library card, go to shitty bars,
listen to others (no matter how dark).

*

If you’re biting all your books,
you’ll have no info to cater.

If you’re French kissing now,
you’ll have dry mouth later.

Bad Samaritan

I called a friend a friend,
but he was never there.

Who is he?

I called a suicide hotline,
and nobody picked up.

Where are they?

I called you to give me
a sign that you love me.

What is that?

Bedside Manner

You can plant flowers
and paint death until
you die and come back
again, but no matter
what you say and what
you see, the sadness
will last forever, as long
as you live for free.

Behavioral Health

Waiting and waiting
for hours on end
for someone (anyone)
to simply tell you
that they can’t help you
(you’re all on your own)
will absolutely make you
question the point of it all…

So then, let me ask you:
Why do we keep going?

Best Adapted Screenplay

when I was a child
on the playground

sipping from a straw
enjoying the pleasure
known as Orange Julius

I could not have
ever imagined
the arc of the plot
of the life I would live

I could not have
ever imagined
the way I might die
eventually inside

but here I am now
adult-flesh Keith

sipping from a can
enjoying the pleasure
known as Sierra Nevada

Bicoastalism

sometimes I feel
too East Coast
for the West Coast

&

sometimes I feel
too West Coast
for the East Coast

Bitch’s Brew

I wish I would
have become
a jazz drummer.

I kind of could
have been free
like is said to be
the framework
of this country.

If songs were
as long as years
I’d only live in fear.

Blockhead

If you could build a new brain,
what would you think of yourself?

Blowout

Dale’s got the nerve
to get the nerves
going on me, and
it’s so French of you
to ask about us, or
we, at the very least.

It’s Friday, and despite
the fact that I should be
focusing on the freedom
that the weekend gives,
I’m looking backwards
to Monday, because, well,
I don’t know what else
to do, and actually, I
must ask: Who are you?

Bolinas

In a forgotten era,
poets mattered.

These days,
we are spectres
only some care
to speculate about,
and even then,
we pass through
their thoughts
even less than
monthly bills
set on auto-pay.

And someday,
you and I will
maybe drive north
and get wine-drunk
and smoke cigarettes
like we used to do,
back on the border
of Brooklyn and Queens,
and read to each other
on a dark, isolated beach.

In a future era,
we’ll matter again.

Bon Appétit

How about a donut for dinner
and bitterness for breakfast?

Maybe we can skip lunch
and have drinks for fun?

Maybe we can watch hoops
until the fading moon spooks?

How about a taco for breakfast
and a cerveza for calmness?

Boyish Statement

Sometimes I feel like
the only reason why
I ought to stay alive
is the new life that I
chose to make mine.

Brain Farting

I’ve got a few ideas…

Pitch a proposal,
a proper proposition.

What day do you say
we ought to fight for what
we’ve already fought?

In a year like the one
that has just passed, I guess
it’s tough to remember which
century we knew last.

Breaking News

Typing a text out in all caps
DOES NOT MAKE YOU A RADICAL;
that sort of shit makes you seem
like you are losing your mind.

Bubble Water Sandwich

Breakfast this morning
included a few teaspoons
of my own blood, mixed with
salt water and depression.

Lunch will be sheep milk yogurt
with berries stitched together,
coated with eucalyptus honey
and a few dollops of anxiety.

For dinner, I suppose I’ll just eat
my own words and wash them
down with Topo Chico, my favorite
beverage of all the beverages.

Buzz Cut (for the Win)

I’ve got a ring and a rose
and a pocketful of prose.

The lint I now hold in hand
reminds me of the times we
used to drunkenly sleep over
each other’s homes without
regard for future obligations.

I once decided to cut my hair
when I was a few cups deep.

It’s the memories of mistakes
that keep me wanting to wake
up and attempt to get better;
the cliché goes, “Practice makes
perfect,” but I’m okay with decent.

Cabin Fever

I’ve always found comfort
in the scent of Mitchum
and the taste of Molson;

I must seek fields, streams,
mountains, and the decent
to drink Canadian with me.

Caesura Crop

broken lines
mimic a mime
put the lime

in the coconut
and have fun
with aplomb

Cage

Blackberry shuffle
Blueberry kerfuffle

When you’re eating
With a dancing baby
It’s always a struggle

Carnival

I feign to know
what it’s like
to be rich in life,
perceived or reality.

You can sail on ships,
cruise lines for that
matter, and shit,
you can fail and flip.

I expect people to leave
me after a few years,
because that’s the norm,
and I’m getting bored.

I can only deal with
the jokers and jesters
for so long before
I question the joke(s).

Carry On, Carrion

I look to the sky,
and I cry at the sight
of a band of beautiful
black birds looking
to eat what rots
inside me; or could
it be that I’ve just
had one too many
potent potables
for this sad night?

Cartographer of the Self

I have mapped out
all of my regrets.

The geography
of my sorrows
expands like
nuclear grains.

Moving forward
I’ll plot my points
more effectively
and efficiently.

For your information
there is no key to life.

Chan

Oh, baby;
honey, hi!

You’re my love,
my cub bear!

It’s so sweet
how you share.

Give me a kiss
above the eyes.

Chaos Is Now (Now Is Forever)

Bad teachers
eat bad apples
for breakfast.

Sometimes
a moment needs
to be smacked.

Sometimes
a memory needs
to be sanctioned.

Good leaders
drink cocktails
for dinner.

Cherub Rock

Children are so pure
until they’re like:

“Hey, check this shit out;
if you don’t, you’ll be sorry!”

Look up for your phone;
otherwise, a gourd will be
smashed on the pavement.

And someone in Chicago
won’t be happy with you
or your tomato-stained face.

Chicken Feed Scratched

She drains the blood
From the white meat
Every goddamn week

And I’m so stiff and sore
Like i’ve never been before

And I’m so sick and stored
Like a soft gel pack on a rack

I get harassed for living
Peacefully and yet here
I am as a Buddhist in fear

Chinese New Year Poem

My lymph nodes
are in nymph mode,
singing like sirens
on a major highway.

We’re all doomed—
you, me, we, us;
it’s just all too much.

Am I old enough to start
wearing compression socks?

Is this bottle half-empty or full?

Chippy

I eat corn
because
I have not
much more.

Chirping at the Cloud

Right now is the worst time
to have a vulnerable moment.

Don’t be an asshole unless
you don’t mind getting ripped.

Maybe tomorrow will be the day
when you can be honest with me.

I’ll wait because I have more
character than the Internet.

Chrome Dome

You can waste hours
on the Internet when
you actually have to
accomplish anything.

City of Leaving

You asked me to be
more of a new-age rake
and less of a cardboard box.

I asked you how you
thought I might be able to
contain my feelings, in that case.

I guess it’s up to me
to figure out what to do
about all that I’ve left behind.

The ground ain’t gonna
clean itself up, and honestly
neither are we—oh, what a drag!

Cleft Palate

Early in 2020,
I bought a gallon
of hand sanitizer
from South Korea.

It smelled like vodka,
if vodka were viscous.

The following year—
that is, this year—
a distiller gave me
a few boutique bottles.

This stuff smelled like the skin
of an old Hong Kong fling.

Club Med

I sprained my brain
thinking of all the times
I have wished to walk
in someone else’s shoes
only to realize my feet
are too busted to fit.

Coca-Cola Stallion

Go to the stable
and slice your
dreams away.

Caffeine is a drug
worth the price
of addiction.

The adrenaline
is far too high
to feel any pain.

The anxiety is
worth the price
of admission.

Cold Brew

No need to buy coffee
from the cosmos—
aliens have their own
ways to pick up
the pace, I’m sure.

“Don’t be careless
with your caffeine,”
said the corner cafe
employee whose name
I need not remember.

He asks so many questions,
all in the form of statements.

“What should I do with a man
who refuses to acknowledge his
inadequacies?” asked his wife.

If you’re looking for answers,
lady, I’m all out of time.

Cosmic Egg

It was a midsummer night
when the welcome mat

was treaded anew
and I welcomed you

into this crabby existence
we pretend is just fine in time.

Country Roads Took Me Home

my skin started bubbling
a few weeks ago
and I have to wonder
if I’m on fire

I mean
a slow burn
of course

always
of course

but the flares
are they warnings
or are they causes
or effects
effectively causing
me to retroactively
put dampers
on what could be
or could have been

god
I don’t know

I don’t know
if there is
a god

but I do know
that I am ready
to lay down
on a heating pad
in the cool winter night

it’s snowing in the north
probably in the east too

I can feel the breeze
from the west

I can feel the pull
of the south

the weather is central
to how I act and react

I am no longer engaged
to a woman

I am forever engaged
to the world

Court Opinion

Another judgment from me,
another judgment from you.

What’s new, old friend?

Can we just get a coffee and talk?

A sandwich, too, if you’d prefer…

Or a beer or two or three…

Recess only lasts so long now,
and it’s less fun when you’re old.

Courtesy / Poetry / Country

I sliced part of a part
away from myself.

Was it cheese,
cloth, hair, skin,
or something
else maybe akin?

A turtle walks
on sand, and
a lizard crawls
on concrete.

We’re in the desert,
we’re by the sea;
I’m close to you,
you’re far from me.

I try to find pieces
to be whole again.

Cowboy Cafeteria

I can’t quite
make up my
made-up mind
on which new
flavor to try,

so instead,
I’ll just treat
this week like
a psychological
buffet of sorts.

When I finish up
cleaning ceramic,
I’ll make sure
my smile is not
sanitized, too.

When I leave
my body lying
in the bathroom,
don’t go looking
for any truths.

Crooked Chiropractor

My back is clamped.

I haven’t lost all my vices,
but I forget your advice

Can you just give me
some of your leftover pills?

I’m back, timestamped.

Crystal Balls

You think
you know
what’s on
my mind.

You must
be some
kind of
psychic.

Cult Shit

She was a crabby crab
from Brighton Beach,
who wanted to move
to Santa Barbara or
San Diego or some
other saintly place,
and the Spanish
aggressors who
came before her.

The seafood is better
out west, and so is
the light just before night.

She is a decent crustacean;
she was proof that beauty
can still exist in an ugly world.

And if conflict can settle
in shallow vodka glasses
at crowded dinner tables
in Russian restaurants,
well then, I have hope
for and faith in folks
figuring it out in Israel—
“how naive,” says
every person I know!

Customer Revue Segment

When you order produce
from a tech company,
you ought to expect to
have to cut and cook
some bad apples now
and then, and then
you can get sick of being
on the Internet like you
have been for the past
however many years.

Cyclone Alone

Mark the bumps
with fingers and
push them with
pins and cuss
as much as you
must if that’s
what is to be
done I mean
yes I guess
that’s just.

Dang It

The roof of my mouth
is burning like money
in 1982; three years
later, and I was here.

When my head talks,
it speaks in tongues.

When my heart breaks,
it breaks in many pieces.

And if peace can be
with you, it can be
with me; and if we
want, we can believe.

Dates

When you're on a date
you can feel like
you’re a different person.

When you eat a date
you can feel like
you’re in a different place.

Dead-Ass Nails

Spilling coffee is a thing I do now,
ever since I impregnated my wife.

I’ve also murdered my feet twice—
my toes are numb from forgetting.

I must sit down before I fall down;
I must get down before I wake up.

Deist

I’ll say this once
and once only,
and I mean it:

Leave me alone, God.

Desayuno

Perhaps my egg
was cracked back
at university, but
you see, I still think
I can see something
in you and me, baby.

Diagnostic Front

Take a gander
at the gash
I found about
one foot up
from my foot.

I think I’ll be
walking away
from the life
I thought I
might live.

Diet Right

Everybody is going gluten-free,
but sometimes grain is good—
particularly when it comes
to certain images, you know?

I’m a big picture kind of guy;
I mean, I think in both
the macro and the micro
(down South, I go slo-mo).

Things can get so blurry
sometimes, especially when
you forget what’s behind
your eyes and lose the time.

Remember the old grit,
the old grind, the new drip,
the new shine; remember
not to forget to remember.

Dog on the Moon

Close your eyes
and imagine god
or well otherwise
I guess shut up.

There is nothing
to put much faith
into on this planet
especially America.

If we could all fly
into outer space like
a bookish billionaire
I’m not sure I would.

Don’t Forget to Hydrate

Julie says
I pee too loudly.

A horse
can be hoarse,
of course.

A course
can be coarse,
as well.

“Oh well,”
I tell Julie, loudly.

Double Certain

It’s okay to be wrong
It’s just fine to be right

Make no mistake
I am sure for sure

Drinker’s Hall of Fame

You wanted me to feel bad
about feeling bad? Well, you
are in luck, because I could
not feel any worse. Even so,
I want to let you know that I
will be heading to Arcadia.
I’m going to put down, like,
one hundred bucks or so,
and if I win big, I will definitely
buy you a drink and I’ll buy
my sister a horse. Let’s go to
the bar and pony up until
the regulars head home and
we both have to do it all over
again. Hey, this is the life, or
at least some form of life that
I can somewhat understand.

Drug Shift

When I was single,
in my twenties,
I would buy medicine
for an entire family.

Now that I’m married,
with a baby boy,
and in my mid-thirties,
I buy enough for a month.

Dry Clean Only

Some rules
are meant
to be broken;

others must
forever be
followed.

Earth Piss

My ankles are swollen
My heart is heavy

The coyotes are out
The baby’s in bed

Some days are over
Even before they begin

Some years are under
The guise of forgiveness

Embalm Me

I’m so dry, I might as well
be the turtle that lives
in the dirt behind
my neighbor’s house.

I’m so dead, I might not
be as well as I thought
when I decided life
had limited light left.

Put me out of my misery:
no more true crime podcasts
that are based almost entirely
on the fictional accounts of cops.

Emphasis on what?

Don’t even start
I’m not a narc

I’ll die for my cause
I’ll bear my cross

Or at the very least
I’ll cub up by myself

And what else
Uh what’s more

Oh there’s the door
I’m going now

I’m going again
Curtains down

Chin up to the light
Good luck good night

Encyclopedic

I was inspecting poison ivy
when a finch flew past me.

When I looked all around,
my books became unbound.

Some people are loud;
some people are wise.

I often try to be profound
without seeming to try.

Entertainment

It’s so easy to sing about sadness.

But it’ll never feel real if you never feel.

Depression is not a joke to tell friends.

It’s a story to share anxiously on trial.

Etymological Groove

Italicize my mind,
Italo my body; I’m
here to hear you;
I promise I will be
whatever you need;
I will seek the words
you are looking to find
and squirm when you
tell me to take them
back to their origin.

Extended Mantra

You tell me to be civil;
I say you are a criminal.

This is America—
a failed experiment;
a stupid nation-state
too big to succeed.

Decency is necessary,
but incrementalism
is bread for the birds.

Fuck the police,
fuck the police,
fuck the police.

Anything less than
defunding departments
and abolishing prisons
is complete malarkey.

You tell me not to riot;
I say that’s a joke.

Extra Ellipses

The haze
Engulfs
The maze

That hugs
The rug
That hugs

And now
That I’m
Somehow

Where I’m
Not supposed
To maybe be

I guess then
Less than
The rest

Of the best
Of the rest
Of never mind

F Is for Fuck You

I think about the aggression of this country every time I enter a post office. It’s a shame that such a valuable service has such a poor reputation. Burn some incense, drink a beer, take a nap. Don’t swing the pendulum too far in any direction; instead, shoot for some sort of equilibrium. Dude to you: Sometimes it’s radical to just be mellow.

Fabulous Fabulations

if I told you
the truth
would you
want to listen?

if you told me
what you
wanted I might
need to think

about whether
or not I could
weather you
beyond the now

and now I think
I must go on
before I go out
for good my god.

Faith

There is no one way
to love or to be loved.

There are only make-
believe manuals made
by virgins somewhere
near Valdosta, Georgia.

I regret all the times,
all the ways, in which
I tried to force some
assumption or some
projection, or I guess
I don’t know, really—

I just know that love
is more complicated
than our parents told
us, and relationships
involving romance are,
well, nearly impossible.

And so I guess when I
think about when Liz
asked how she loved
me and began to count
down like a basketball
buzzer before halftime,

I made notations like
a jazz guitarist on high.

You can love however
you want in this world;
to be honest, I don’t
know about elsewhere.

Fallen, Cold, Dead

I have washed so many bottles
that my bony fingers are furling
like the wet sails of a weathered
ship returning from a long haul.

Fantasy Meltdown

Basically, what happened was I wrecked my Maserati and the mechanic said he didn’t know when the parts would come in from Europe. So I said, “Fuck it,” and I traded it in for a BMW. But it turned out the BMW was actually used and had more miles on it than advertised. So then I traded that in for a barely used Volvo and a brand-new Prius. So now I have two really solid cars, but nothing to necessarily brag about.

Fashion

If you’d like
maybe just
let leather
stretch out
like morals
in America.

Fast Food

I processed my finger
in the kitchen sink
like it was a piece
of cheapish chicken.

Fireside Chat

Stretch my gums
So I can’t talk
Shit anymore

My mouth hurts
One way or another

I feel bad about
All the things I said

But also lips can’t
Protect the inside
Like I was once told

Firm Flex

The tension
of which tense
you ought to use
can stretch your wits
beyond the boundaries
of what is model elasticity.

First Thought, Best Thought

You say you were just thinking
[pause]
I say maybe you shouldn’t
[pause]
I say maybe we all should
take a break
[pause]
You say maybe you should
just fuck off
[pause]
It was a thought
for the collective
[pause]
It was a thought
for the moment

Flat Pomp

Whenever I see
an American man
wearing a beret,

I have to wonder
whether or not he
has an expensive
liberal arts degree;

as far as I can tell,
there is no other
explanation, really.

Force Quit

I give so many chances
until the others gives up.

Loyalty is not a value of
my generation, really.

Commitment has always
been elusive, though, no?

Free Jazz

I don’t want to stop
anyone or anything.

I want everyone
and everything
to be what they
think and I think
I’ll be something.

Note by note
I will progress.

Fresh Take

I left my coffee
in the coliseum;
I guess there is
no going back.

Do you remember
when that diplomat
got blocked into that
grassy parking lot?

I guess he never
went back, either.

I suppose no one
knows but those
who make it through
the dead of night.

And when we wake,
we remember it’s
not about what
you did wrong.

It’s about whether
or not you were right.

Fucked Up

sometimes
when I breathe
I smell cigarettes
I remember cocaine
I see the chlorine behind
all my favorite coastal bars
and I kinda wish I missed it more

Fugitive

tonight I watched
a possum climb
to the roof
of my garage
only to jump off

Garbage Charge

If you bleed blue
what can you do
but sit in the back
of your own self-
pity paddy wagon?

Garden Variety

My body is a choice
My mind is a noise

Two of my favorite poets
Lived in New Jersey

The guarded one
Was a pediatrician

The bearded one
Was a boy herder

I love Camden
I love Paterson

I love my son
I love the night

Because the night
Just sounds so right

Gates

Generosity can be a complex complex;
you give and you give and you may never
receive any returns on your investments.

But this life isn’t about maximizing profits
or any other sorts of personal gains, is it?

That sort of mentality can make a person
go paranoid or enter a rather pitiful void.

This life is about seeing above the surface;
when a door opens, walk through it, and
when one slides, look aside for a surprise.

Gen Ex

I guess once you hit a certain age,
you start to have a lot of regrets
about those with whom you spent
more time than you currently have.

Getting Old

I thought I was losing
the hair on my legs;
it turned out it was just
the bathroom lighting.

Give/Take

Some have
the need
for speed.

Some have
the want
for lust.

We all have
to be what
we must.

Golden Van

Don’t drive in reverse.

Neutrality parks
itself where it must.

I’m all out of gas,
I’m all out of grass,
and I’m all out of ass.

It’s lonely out here
in this lovely city,
and I think I maybe
just need to leave.

Greyscale

I spell grey with an E
because my mum’s mum
was from Rainham
and I know she loved me.

Guilt Trip

Hearing the subtle ways
certain notes on guitar
or piano hit the bones,
I want to drink coffee
in Oslo and empty
all of the tote bags
to find the last tiny
remnants of last night’s
weed we stuffed into
that stranger’s bowl.

I’m feeling a different
kind of nostalgia now
that I’m listening to
the war of words found
on the scratched vinyl
of 2004; Jesus, I wasn’t
even twenty back then—
I had so much to live for,
and now all I have is you.

That’s more than enough,
but I still want more; don’t
you? I’m still searching for
more, aren’t you? It’s okay;
you don’t have to answer.

Hagiography

Why do the living
force themselves
to say nice things
about the dead?

Half-Baked

I’ve swallowed enough plastic
over the past three decades
to know that I’m down to swim
upstream if that’s the only route.

Half of a Heart

Ah man goddamn
I said some shit again

Hey ladies and gents
I didn’t mean half of it

Calm down calm down
Everybody just calm down

I know it’s hard to stay cool
When I’m so hot and bothered

But if you try I promise I will too
And really that’s the best I can do

Ham-Fisted Brain

How many times,
in one week,
did I need to dial
it up and then
dial it back down?

Don’t forget to tip.

When my hands
hit wrong numbers
I like to say how
it could be worse—
I could be bankrupt.

It’s hammer time.

Hardcore Poem

I walked away
from the Wi-Fi
and doubled down
on the dream.

I gave up on art;
I’m going to
do my own thing.

I’ve never understood
the rules of engagement;
I still don’t get etiquette.

I say take a pickaxe
to the superficial crust!

Facts: women can be crass,
and most men are bastards.

Harsh Vibes

How is it that
some feminists
love to love
macho men?

Harvestman

with super-long limbs
stretched out straight
nothing can poison me

stop playing around guy
like a patsy in the garden
no harm done to the yield

Headbutt the Earth

I massaged my face
with sulfur this morning,
and then I did it again
after I ate some cheese
and crackers for dinner.

I thought about how much
some people choose to whine.

I massaged the floor
with hydrogen peroxide
all afternoon and then let
it sleep while I did, too;
surprise, surprise—it’s fine.

I dreamt about how the times
in my life I’ve felt like a winner.

Head Rest

I have this one pillow
that never wants to be
encased, and I have to
ask myself if this is some
kind of metaphor for life;

I mean my life, and my
past unwillingness to
come to compromise;

but now, I understand
that fabrics are not so
constructing, and can
we all agree that facts
are friends to everyone?

Heap of Words

It smells like a specific
targeted type of garbage
in the kitchen this evening.

I remember the scent
from my shotgun spot
back in my Brooklyn days.

I was never able to figure out
the eighth day of the week.

I was never able to learn how
to lessen my load by morning.

Hi Neighbor!

I watched a miniature human
dressed like a Neapolitan
choke up blueberries,
almonds, and whatever else
their sharp pincers could gather.

First comes the baking soda,
next comes the bird cleaner,
and then, of course, it’s
the club soda, party monster.

I laundered my money
like a stupid Carolinian,
or something similar.

North or South—it doesn’t matter;
Left or Right—it doesn’t matter.

Wink once, and you know
you’re just being silly.

Wink twice, and you know
you’re going to get it.

Kiss once, you’re American;
kiss twice, god bless you.

High There

I drag
my drugs
like sad
little slugs

My fingers
are white
and yellow

My toes
are black
and blue

I paint
my walls
like staid
old pitfalls

Hollywoodland

All bad actors
must be checked.

No good mates
must be impressed.

Hope Squared / Faith Divided

Go ahead:
Spread me out
on the sofa toaster.

I’m going to
be like Garfield
and hate this life.

I’ll brush ferns
with plastic forks
until they grow locks.

I’ll be the key to me;
you can lube up my life,
and I’ll likely thank you later.

Since my skin
is now peeling over,
I’ll scroll through notes.

Some ideas should
remain saved as drafts;
pressing send is, like, forever.

I Drank the Spirits of St. Louis

First off, I’d like to say,
“Praise Jesus and
hallelujah and all that
other shit snakes
in the tall grass spout.”

But also, I’d like to say:
It rained at the picnic,
and lightning bolts
thumped my butt
until I became one
with the soil beneath
my geriatric soles.

And once I came to
my other four senses,
after having fried
my brain like the eggs
my wife makes me buy
from the nice farmers
who drive down to us
from the Central Valley,
I made myself another.

I Have Committed Fornication, but That Was in Another Country

I once lived a life that was kind of like a stone-cold, stationary place in time, in which everyone was able to see your fuck face; that is, we allowed ourselves to be more vulnerable. Every tabled conversation was laid bare. Every shared story was, in some ways, an accidental goodbye. In today’s world, most people want to flex, while I merely come up with alternate phrasings for things I’ve already said.

I Must Confess

I ask myself every day
if those closest to me
even know who I am
or what I care about
and if it even matters.

If Only

if only I could
fit all my goodwill
inside a big yurt

if only I would learn
to appreciate seasons
as measurable lessons

if only all fast food
could slow down
just a bit for health

if only all slow-motion
mentions might speed up
for the sake of clarity

I’m a Problem, Child

You thought you
wanted to be
involved with
someone strange
and difficult,
but you just
like watching docs
on random cults—

true crime shit
for people who
would never even
get a ticket for
drinking in public;
and to that, I say,
“Cheers, if that
makes your day.”

Incrementalism Is Evil

How can virtues
be valued when
they are being
detained by men
draped in garments
purchased right off
racks and shelves
in haughty shops
at outdoor malls
and then sold
to us at entirely
impossible prices?

In Los Angeles

It is often considered uncouth
to share your opinions
with anyone other than yourself.

Infant Jazz

Babies and beboppers
have a lot in common:
they are both loners
who like to throw back
the bottle and brood.

What’s the difference
between sophistication
and maladroit madness?

It’s hard to say when
you’re horsing around.

My life is so strange now—
I wake up early and make oatmeal
for people, like I’m some monk
in the Mexican countryside,
begging the Virgin of Guadalupe
to help me remodel my present self
for my future soul and approximate
forgiveness for all of my past sins.

But while I space out,
Imi scats like a cat
and I pray for relief.

I really ought to figure out
how to write Ouija poems;
I need to crack that code.

Infants

are like roosters;
they will never
let you sleep
longer than
the sun.

Interstate 5

up north
it’s fog

down here
it’s smog

either way
either place

I’m pleased
to breathe

Instant Memories

I haven’t flown anywhere
in at least two years
and the thing I miss most
is probably the scent
sniffed from above clouds
I’ve slit silver linings
from and that smell is just
stale coffee packed
in plastic and unwrapped
by hungover friends.

Iron Chic

Some memories recede;
some places stay put.

Listen here: Just apply
wax to your porcelain
to prevent deterioration.

I construct boxes
from cardboard and
watch China shine
and fade, depending
on the time of day.

When the sky goes dark,
I listen to death metal;
when the sun rises again,
I don’t feel any more alive.

I Promise

I know the meaning
of life but I won’t die
before telling you all.

Isolation

I’ve got puke
in my eyes
and
you’ve got lies
lies
lies

I’ve got puke
in my eyes
and
I have died
died
died

It Doesn’t Matter

sometimes I feel
so burdened
it’s like I’m
an addict
without a fix

and there’s only
one route to walk
it’s industrial
to a point until
I get to Texas

or the simulacrum
of the Wild West

it doesn’t matter

sometimes I feel
so worthless
it’s like I’m
an accumulation
of nail clippings

being flushed
down a bathroom
sink or floating
in the breeze
of the desert

morning
or night

it doesn’t matter

Italian Disco Fried

I drank a digestif
like water last Friday
to celebrate not eating
shit for once this year.

Jenkem

My temples
are on fire;
no gods left
at the end
of the week.

My eyeballs
are rolling
in thin sap;
my ass is gas
come Monday.

Burn, baby, burn.

The trees keep
getting taller;
my knees keep
getting swollen.

The grass keeps
getting greener;
my pants keep
getting soiled.

Jet Compulsion

children stare up
at the sky pointing
their index fingers
at metal birds flying
high above the trees
and other green things

it’s not something
they can control

there is no tower
too tall to dream

let them be impressed
let them be obsessed

listen kids when the ocean
crashes into skin and bones
little can be done besides
throwing the rest of the body
into the salt and hoping it
heals your worldly wounds

K-World

My entire life has been
one giant K-hole.

But in my world,
everything moves me.

KDAY (Origin Nostalgia)

My tummy is tied
like a soft pretzel;

my guts are hard
from all the gears
they’ve been forced
to grind these days;

I’m going back to Cali,
I’m going back to me.

Killer Instincts

I’m a Shetland pony,
running scared from my
Scotch-filled past.

You are a marksman,
and you shoot horses,
don’t you, motherfucker?

Kiss the Chef Goodbye

Add a darkish descriptor
to the lightly packed trash
in the brightly lit room
of an egocentric goon;

toss in a dash of slapdash
colloquialism to balance
out the porous pretentious
parts, disguised as profundity;

a hot take here, another there,
and it can get a little too spicy
for the sensitive crowds sitting
on soft stools everywhere.

Kitchen Clown

Sliced my thumb
with an avocado
and disappeared.

But he who is with me
kept looking and lurking.

Spilled my third
coffee and didn’t
shed a single tear.

But he who is with me
laughed at my expense.

Knotty

One
plus
one
equals
love.

Kool Anthology

The bulldozer
crawled upon
the cardboard,
boxing out the
ones and zeros.

What’s the score?

Where’s the beef?

Oh, you’ll have to
excuse me—I only
eat fruits and veggies,
but you can count
on me to drink one
to three martinis
or Negronis with you
at any Cali-classic
surf-and-turf spot.

Oh, shit—back to work,
but not before I melt
my brain with some more
red and green somethings.

Lamentation

I was watching
the sun set on
the sterling
reputation of
an Irish landscape
when I decided
that I don’t mind
the fact that
you are kind of
boring; although,
I must say this
would bother me
more immensely,
under other sets
of circumstances;
however, I am now
just accepting
your frustrating
ways of stating
you are right.

Landmark Poem

An obelisk is a dick,
a formidable false phallus
erected to commemorate
the softening of culture.

There are no monuments
devoted to anything
worth remembering,
other than maybe mothers.

Life Don’t Lie

I spin my balls
and these plates;
it’s all the same.

Every moment
is some sort of
mindless game.

It’s perfectly fine
to detach yourself,
if you need saved.

It’s chill in my own hell,
getting what you want
while I do what I say.

Like, you know?

Sometimes just one person can make all the difference.

Lil Guts

My belly is a balloon
and sometimes it feels
bold to fill it up until
it’s ready to be p-p-p-
popped like a pimple!

Linguistics

Is an are
a huh or
was a were
a duh oh
I dunno

Little Drummer Boy

drop the cymbals
let them crash
let them ride

smack my skin
stretch it out
strip it away

this rhythm
is concussed
from my disgust

I guess you can
pummel my night
as if I have no life

Little Sipper, Big Tipper

I only want
to have one
glass of wine.

But I also want
to make it worth
your precious time.

Load Management

I’ve managed to load
all of my anxieties and
neuroses onto my own
body—my brains and
my bones, they will fail
me if I don’t fail them
first; it’s not fair to you
or me to be this way.

Lobotomy

There’s so much
pain on this planet;

we must remember
to learn to forget.

Logic

Why can some men
grow a proper mustache
and some men can’t?

Why am I one of those
who can’t grow facial hair
but can stand to reason?

Love Buzz: Kinder, More Kindness

Sometimes I’ll give someone a considered compliment and they don’t respond — like, nothing at all. This happens in person and via text or e-mail. I don’t get it. But regardless, I just keep doing it. The thing is...even though I want to be a kind person, I don’t want to kill anyone with kindness. Anyway, do you think Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love actually enjoyed spending time with each other?

Lovers Insurance

Call any 1-800 number you want;
they’ll all tell you the same thing:
there’s no protecting your heart.

But if you’re thinking about starting
to doubt what you thought you felt,
well, I guess you might want to look
into some kind of policy, just in case.

Lush Life

Don’t bring beer to bed;
no good can come of it.

Don’t pray before
going to sleep;
god smites all
those who dream.

I just woke myself up from
the humdrum what’s what.

Magical Realism

Two wild hogs took my face
right out of my hands as I
stood paralyzed between
Broadway and Main; I asked,
“Am I in Chinatown, or am I in
some sort of strange novella?”

Manifesting Density

I meant to bite my tongue,
but instead, I bit my lip.

How do I figure out
how to talk like how
I used to back when
I was more like me?

So long for the afterglow;
I think I’m just going to go.

Marble Friends

In this life

would you rather
spend time with
someone who 
always makes you laugh
and introduces you
to really good shit
but is also always late
to their own birthday party

or

a friend who despite
not being exceptionally fun
or funny or interesting or
illuminating will for sure
pick up their phone
and take you to the airport
or the hospital
if you call them?

Marriage Don’t Matter (Till It Does)

Sometimes I ask myself
with confidence,
with authority:
Does your wife like
any of the things you do?

Sometimes she overhears
and she tells me
with confident authority
to fuck off if I must
and to get my shit together.

But how do you know how to
do that if you’re just surviving?

And anyway, the way to know
if you love someone is death.

Marriage Record

There’s no heat at home;
there’s no point in hope.

All angles are broken;
all opinions are bloated.

Mendicant

I am begging you
to make change.

For you, for me,
for everything.

Mensch

I just want
the people

at my funeral
to think I was

a decent person
they could trust

and who would
make them smile.

Middle-earth

Perhaps
the worst place
I’ve ever visited
is just below
Manitoba.

Or maybe
it was actually
just north of
where EMTs
get erotic?

In both cities
people are as big
as their steaks.

In both cities
people are frigid
and all the same.

Milky Way

Would you be so kind
to pour a glass of
whatever type of milk
you might have on hand?

If it is dairy,
I’ll give it to my doggy;
if it is nutty,
I’m the guy to guzzle.

It’s a Tuesday afternoon,
and I’m just trying
to avoid the blandness
of this pandemic.

I wonder if you understand
where I’m coming from,
but more importantly,
do you get where I’m going?

Mind the Hive

white-knuckled
pearl-clutchers
are the biggest

threats to society
year in and out

and so okay I say
in no subtle way
get the fuck out

that’s the exit
wasps deserve

Momentary Brain Malfunction

I shift and shimmy
through the slog
of the swamps

looking for clues
but after a while
I forget the point
of any of this shit

and then when I
try to figure it out
I just want to sleep

Monterey Park

After I burned every single
poisonous oak leaf in the city,
I wrote a poem about pain.

I let my son’s stories
sit out in the Mexican rain,
and I watched the ink
slowly swim down a drain.

Before you think a thing
or feel any type of way,
I guess let me just say:

I get a D for effort
and an R for something
I’m sure my wife will share
at some point later tonight.

Mother Nurture

I’ve seen you grow
as you have gone.

It’s in my nature
to try to help;
as I have matured,
I have learned:

Perhaps it’s best
to know how and
when to just rest.

Relax, all I’m saying
is maybe we can
pull the arrows out
of our backs and

give in to the gist
to let go of the shit.

Music

is one of the only things
that makes me still feel
some version of young.

My Name Is Jack

An ass
is a glass:

half-empty,
half-full,

sort of sweaty,
surely foolish.

An ass
is analogous

to whatever
you want

if you want
to be wanted.

My Silver Joo Reprise

The first draft
is the worst draft.

The last loss
is the worst loss.

Everything is shit
until it’s not again.

I can sit depressed
in this waiting room.

I can choose to stand
for something humbling.

Everything is better
if you don’t remember.

Natch Rains

Joy to the whirling
winds! And when
I’m perpendicular,
your mind runs on
the line parallel
to mine, and well,
that’s okay, if you
let it already; but
at this point, and
at that one, too,
do you happen to
realize you’re either
a socialist or you’re
trying to ruin my life?

Neurology, Pulmonology, Psychiatry

If only feelings could be slept away.

Never Skip a Day

Smear the scent of a man
on the lines you’ve drawn
all over your body lately.

You never want to remind
yourself of what it feels like
to be alone in a lonely world.

New High

Imi climbed a tree
in Chinatown today,
like a crocodile
slides in the sea.

When we left the park,
we saw an old Chinese man
squatting on some kind of
new high, eating chicken
with his bare hands, and
he looked up at the stroller
and proclaimed to himself,
“Wow! That’s a baby!”

This kid is endless joy:
He makes me shed
tears like a dungeon
master in the garage.

Nighttime in Palermo

How do you decide
how you pacify?

How will you find
your lost mind?

I’m still fishing
for answers
in nearby seas.

I’m still wishing
for whispers
to be mystique.

Don’t hush me,
don’t rush me;
I’m okay with now,
I’m okay with wow.

Nirvana

All apologies
go down the drain
with flowers
and chants and
all of her dead hair.

No Refrain

Kick on the drum,
stick on the strum;

I mean, stuck on the—
what am I talking about?

Up the punks, down with—
what am I talking about?

This song is the first single
of my married life, alright?

Now Kith

it’s well within your rights
to leave me left alone but
if want to know what’s up
you must be willing to get
down and go out and get
that you got to be about
this life and that life too

now don’t make me go
and explain any more
than you need me to
and I don’t know how
much that is but I do
know how much is too
much so let’s just kith

Obituary

This evening,
I received word
that an old-
world accomplice
had left this world.

My emotions
were as mixed
as any of the
terrible cocktails
he had ever made
for me (or anyone).

He’s probably
been involved
in at least one
gnarly crime.

But who am I
to judge a man
who could be so
weak in the knees

when his profession
so dearly depended
on him standing up?

I admit to my wrongs
when I sing my songs;

karaoke will never die.

Obverse Man

I will never turn
my back on you.

Ocean Avenue

I count nickels
and dimes
on the sidewalk
near the boardwalk
and I watch
the bored walk
until it’s time
to throw quarters
on the bar for a beer.

Oh, Not So Positive

I want to love the life I live,
but every time I go outside
people become mosquitoes.

Outer Extremes

Lately
my hands look
like I’ve washed them
with Elmer’s glue.

And
my feet have been
nailed with a gun
to a 4 x 4; I’m bored.

Oxygen Cycle

I’m too deep in these games
to comprehend anything else;
I can’t remotely entertain your
shallow requests for at least
the next week, but then again,
do you really need to ask me
anything from here on out?

Pacific Pining Co.

Waves break at dawn.

Where’s my coffee?

I have to yawn.

Graves break at dusk.

Where’s my beer?

I have to fuss.

Paean

There is language
and there is feeling

and well, I am feeling
what I am experiencing

and what I am experiencing
is nothing more than the now

you know, like, life is just funny
in how it’s not even funny at all

but the depression it creates for
the most positive of us all is kind of

not even remotely a good thing, but
I guess it doesn’t matter if you’re uhh…

Pain Is Real

Sometimes I forget
to format and that
is a feeling that I’d
never like to feel if
I don’t have to but

I guess I’ve learned
that what you want
is not always what
you get and you can
bet that’s the end of
the night if I’m right.

And trust me when
I say I’m not wrong.

But day to day I’d
say I’m like neither
nor or well whatever.

Don’t worry about me.

Passing Thru (Smoky Mountain Song)

It’s hump day,
and it smells
like garbage
from right beside
my bedroom window.

Lord, I hope
the coyotes
all go to hell
for what they did
to my sweet boy.

It’s a rodent’s world
out there on the streets,
and I just want a slice
of pizza, extra cheese.

You can’t get me to feel
any worse than I already do
about all of the things I said
back when I was a jackass.

Patois Mois

Say what you mean,
and mean what you say;
that’s something that’s
often been said to me.

I guess the thing is,
it’s not all that crucial
to understand words,
so long as they’re true.

I mean, it’s all relative;
I mean, it’s relative
to you, and to me,
and we’re free to be.

Months are moments
worth appreciating;
not too long or short
to want less or more.

Peace Be With You!

Shalom! Salaam!

Stay home! Get gone!

Peace Mirror

Flip the script;
transpose the text.

Look in the mirror;
see what you see.

I mean, really, though—
do you know what I mean?

I’ve symbolized stubbornness
in society, for myself at least.

I try to remember
that everyone,
including me,
must first look
at themselves
more often and
hold themselves
more accountable
before placing
blame onto others.

Penitent

Not a day
goes by
that I don’t
wonder why
it took me
so long
to learn
how to live.

Petty Simp

On the line
Out of bounds

I walk alone
In this modern
World of ours

I hold the phone
While I cook
My own organs

I call myself out
While I clean
Yesterday dry

Out the door
On to yours

Phone a Friend

Water flows
under bridges
for a reason.

Scoop some up
with your hands
and sip slowly.

Watch the fishes
foment and foam
up and downstream.

Don’t take things
for granted knowing
things can float away.

Pier Group

When I walk
in sandals,
my toes split.

When I stand
in waiting,
my soles sleep.

One step forward;
one step backward.

I’m in total stasis;
you are still here.

Piled While High

Why did I just place
this line where I did?

Why did I have to forget
to read between hours?

Time and time again,
I spend too much time.

You probably didn’t even
notice any of my dwelling.

I am remote these days;
I’m scanning words to say.

You are forever roaming,
like slimmed cell service.

Plate Is Full / Glass Half-Empty

Democracy is
a charming form
of entertainment.

Please remove all
the Chads lounging
in life’s living room.

Thank you for not
smoking my future
like past happy hours.

I’m just doing my best
to squeeze in a meal
every now and again.

Polar Boy

The skies are clear
up there where
all your neighbors
are penguins and seals.

It’s difficult to determine
what’s fake and what’s real
when the smog slowly cuts
through your natural brain fog.

I want to be the heart
in your head, and I
want you to think of me
the next time you feel bad.

I want to warm you up
when you’re down and out
in the cold because listen:
I can hear your pain; it’s loud.

Poor communication

leads to rotten eggs and spoiled milk.

Post-Independence

If you suck your soul
for the minutes allowed,
drool will drip down
and collect into the pool.

I haven’t been for a good swim
in at least two years—it’s been
part of my depression’s origin;
here I lay with toasted skin.

Go on: Eat your hammer fist,
and zone out on the xylophone
until a punctual rumble sits
on your face like a wet cyclone.

Predicated Poem

All of the conversations
I have dominated
over the years
are coming back
to haunt me.

I feel bad;
I feel sad.

I am bad, bad, bad.

I am sad, sad, sad.

I’m sorry I subjected you, too.

Prepositional

I’m so relieved
to know that
we don’t have
to worry about
ending things
with something
like with anymore.

Preserved Archive

I want to plastic-wrap
all of my stories for
a day or two to see
how they hold up
after a few decades
only to serve them raw.

Priory

In a former life
I was surely a monk.

In my current life
I just shave my head.

Private People

when I go to a store
and a stranger starts
to flirt with me I fling
coins onto the floor
like a vending machine
that has undergone
sensitivity training

like any analyst
I’m comfortable
with being sort of
uncomfortable

nobody knows you
the universal you
I mean me or you
but whatever and
whenever you go
out nobody knows
you is my point

Promise me you can keep a promise?

coming clean
about my filthy
brainscape for
the first time

feels kind of
right but at
the same time

nothing feels good
when you’re heading
down a random road
in a Rust Belt suburb

Psych Life

How many hundos
have you sadly blown
on weeks-long regrets?

I don’t want to guess,
but I guess if I had to bet,
I’d probably go poor.

And what’s more, all this
has less to do with you
than with a point of view.

How many perspectives
have vanished in vain
while you’ve spaced out?

These are the usual sorts
of pictures I like to distort
in my cluttered living room.

I don’t spend as much
time in there as before;
I am grounded, absorbed.

Psycho Spectre

my guy
is wild

relatively
speaking

when you
refuse to
lose you

will win
simply
by living

apparitions
can appear

anywhere
I do fear

Purview (Feline State of Mind)

Wow
Knuckles
Bleed

Bones
Can bend
With life

More than
Days can
Admit okay

I curl
Upon
The gurl

Lady
I live
A life

And like
A chicken
Finally says

I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry

Real Life Can Be So Real

You think the things
that hang on those walls
are romantic, huh?

Here’s the thing
about romance:
it’ll only disappoint.

I have loved, and I
want to keep loving,
but this world is filled
with hate and more hate.

I have been pummeled
by depression; I have felt
like a rental car lost out
in a highway hail storm.

And I never want to feel
that way again; trust me.

And I never want you
to feel that way, either.

Recess

If we could all
just take a break
to loosen up, from
skull to bones,
perhaps we might
hear far less moans.

And if you look out
your window, into
your soul (if you
have one), then
maybe you could
see how far a stone
can be thrown, huh?

Recollection / Agency

Have you ever reconsidered
every move you’ve ever made?

If you have, you begin to learn
your memory isn’t quite what
you thought you remembered.

And that’s just another reason
to smoke and drink to forget.

Requests Received?

Please don’t pull my strings;
I won’t know what to say.

Please don’t push my edge;
I won’t know what to do.

Revised Transcendental Revival

in the natural world
there are so many
inconsistencies

when you walk
in between tall trees
on Western fronts

you’re going to fall
upon the lawns
of written rites

you’re going to punch
at the current winds
that blow at your crotch

I’ve kicked myself
so many times
like a coughing cat

eating my own hair
anxiously awaiting
the next broken wave

Road Acts

I.
Loving life
is in the rearview

II.
Getting by
is in the headlights

Rock My Religion (Redux)

God
It must have been
So rad
To have been an adult
When
Rock music mattered

Round & Round

When grandma brings you pizza,
you couldn’t be happier.

When grandpa sets off fireworks,
shit starts over, I guess.

Do you ever wish that you could
actually press restart?

Do you ever wish that you could
auto-eject like a marine?

Have you ever wanted to mess
with Texas less than now?

Have you ever wanted to guess
what women are thinking?

I have tried, and I have failed;
that’s no surprise, is it?

“What’s a guy to do in this zoo?”
asked the sad line cook.

If I knew anything about new life,
I would’ve started one by now.

That’s why I asked about starting over;
I guess I’m tired of being under.

I mean, I’m tired of doing it all myself;
independence is way overrated.

My lips are so chapped this summer;
I do miss kissing yours.

I keep missing you in our own home;
I guess the sofa is fine.

Rubber-Stamped

Apparently, a high school diploma is not required to be employed by the United States government.

Rude Boy Manual

When I was nineteen,
I tripped on mushrooms
near McConnells Mill.

My friend and I watched
ice-cold water slide down
slippery rocks in the dark.

I felt a transcendental glow
creating a transparent yurt
around our flattened bodies.

A paramedic began yelling
that we had an emergency,
but he was just a sober bore.

It would have been smarter
to ignore the intruder, but
is honesty no longer a virtue?

As we drove the dead highway,
I attempted to count banes
of the world like sheep on a bus.

There is nothing funny about
turning stars into headlamps,
or shit-heads into sun devils.

Yet, if we all choose to sulk
in back seats of cars, progress
will always be late to work.

Rusty Blade

Loose sleeves
in the kitchen
allow flesh
to be exposed
and I wonder
if those umm
uhh moments
we choose to
forget will just
lead us back
to regret again?

Sad Chorus

Feeling like a guy
Feeling like a cry

I don’t know why
I just want to die

Salaryman (Daddy Ding-Dong)

I rubbed one foot against the other. Leather on leather. It was Christmas in October. I got lost in the Okie talk and forgot my coat at the bar. I didn’t realize until I shivered by the third taco spot on the walk home. A block or two later, I remembered my keys were in my right pocket — I mean, the right pocket of my coat, the coat I was no longer wearing. So then I turned back around, but by the time I returned, the place had closed. So then I wandered around, wondering how I could resolve this situation without pissing my wife off too much. Eventually, I decided I had to just face the music, and there is some music you just never want to hear. I didn’t get home until, like, 4 am. I called the Gen-X general multiple times; she didn’t pick up. I rang the door bell; she didn’t answer. I tried to climb the front gate, which is just long wooden slats; I fell down on the concrete. I ripped a few layers of skin off my right pinky finger. I bruised my body, from my elbows to my knees. At this point, I only had one other option: Bang and yell for my savior. I woke up one of our neighbors — one that I know of, anyway; she’s the only one who contacted us the next day. Anyway, my wife finally came out and let me in, but now I’m in the dog house. Woof.

Scabby

I regret
not peeling
the dead skin
sooner than
I did; I did
what I could,
and sometimes
that’s enough;
but sometimes,
enough is just,
well, enough.

Scenes From an Italian Restaurant (Billy Joel Sucks)

Chianti or Merlot?
You tell me, okay.

I’ll watch you wage war
on dishes like a studio
wrestler battling to
end meat for eternity.

You can have it all,
have what you like.

Scuffed surfaces:

A cracked glass
A filthy floor
A chapped ass
Say no more

Separation Anxiety

Drowsy from the drama,

I can find comedy in anything;
I can find comedy anywhere—

Determined to look more,

I will scrape every single apex;
I will seek the squeeze of sex.

Sick & Tired

I’ve been
popping
Sudafed
like I’m a
New Mexican.

My head
feels like
Eric Stoltz’s
in that movie
starring Cher.

What was it called?
Who cares? I mean,
no, really, who cares?

I can’t feel anything
if I smoke enough weed,
but ugh, I’m a dad now.

Listen, you’ll never believe
what happened to me
when I was high last night.

I got Vaseline
on my teeth,
and it wasn’t
as bad as
you might think.

My back is back
to dragging me
down; I’m down
to have another
drink, though.

Silence

I lost my lips
the day
I lost my love.

Sincere Question

How many times
do you feel
like an idiot asshole
every week?

Feel free
to ask me back;
I promise
not to feel bad.

Single Dude, Double Dash

When I was alone
I’d hyphenate so many
Of my actions

Now that I’m a family man
I extend my time
So that the drinks last too

Skeptical of Cynicism

I walked past a Matisse;
I didn’t even stop to look.

It was flat-out foolish;
it was baseless, noir.

What has become of me?

This world remains cold;
this world remains cruel.

I am a goth poet, alone
in my gothic bungalow.

What will become of me?

Slim Chance to Reap

Okay listen

If you don’t
want to take it

I’ll gladly let it
become mine
I have no pride

There’s no shame
in feeling sensitive
or insecure and you
are a slippery spider

Smart Phones Are Stupid

When my cell died,
so did the communication
with my stubborn wife.

Smokejumper

I’ve made mountains
of mistakes and dug
molehills to bury my
shame but now I am
learning to live in the
moment and at the
moment I am feeling
like I want to smoke
some cigarettes and
jump into the fire like
Harry after getting
deep in some cups.

Soft Shimmy (Instant Gratification)

I lost myself in a public sentence
but I recovered in less than an hour!

I want to drink with somebody
but I’m tired of getting drunk.

I want to dance with somebody
but I’ll just convulse on the floor.

Oh good god is there a god and if so
can she please teach me how to chill?

So Much Analytics

If the phone rings,
do not ignore it;
a stranger can
always be known.

Never make a move
while you’re distracted;
do not assume the math
will simply correct itself.

Language is an art
that anyone can use;
it can be the artist,
or it can be the muse.

Somewhat Sensible

these days
I listen to all
the familiar
sounds I need

previously you
see I could only
hear what I must
have wanted right

there’s no wrong
way to perceive
intentions so long
as they are good

and the thing about
luck is it’s only bad
in hindsight and shit
I need new glasses

Spread Eagle / Shallow Lizard

It’s Friday, 12:57 pm
I just got out of the shower

I have a small window
To maintain my hygiene

I must be careful
not to wake anyone
With the new pipes

Moments of privacy are rare
There is limited time for myself
Intimacy has gone down the drain

It feels like El Paso outside
it feels like Duluth inside

I am landlocked with my desires
I miss the joys of getting wet

Sterility

I’d drink bleach
if it meant you’d
come clean to me.

Stolen Identity

I used to have a life;
I used to know my wife,
and who I was, but then
I got her pregnant, and
she and my son decided
they were going to swipe
my brain and my body
like digits at an ATM.

I am no longer relevant.

Strange Contractions

Would you rather jive or vibe
in this wild, wild, wild world?

You ask me why I care about
grammar and all of the other
things that no one else minds.

I say, if I’m a writer, what other
choice do I have in the matter?

Sulfite Rites

I suck
my life

down
down
down

and if it
was up
to me
I’d be

dead
dead
dead

no don’t
worry
I’m fine
it’s just

my head
again

Surf Culture

Pop-up ads
are getting
me down—

it’s like, “Why
can’t they try
to learn some-
thing about me
before they try
to sell me out?”

Capitalism is late
to its own party,
yet it still got us
drunk on its own
misery; but hey,
I mean, at least
we’re all drunk.

I’m just hanging
with myself while
you’re hungover;
the waves keep
pulling us under.

Surfdom

I rubbed toothpaste on my eyes and
dumped baking soda on my cheeks
and washed my forehead with vodka
because the Internet dominates me.

Teenage Soul

You’re slumping,
and so am I; it’s
something about
the season—oh,
surprise, surprise!

Do angels believe
in the zodiac? You
better bet your ass.

Can you get pregnant
in the afterlife? I don’t
think I have the guts
to give it an honest try.

I’m just going to sit here
and eat this vegan soup.

Tenses & Tension

Tonight was a night.

I’ll split the difference
between now and later.

I miss the memories
we created in our
early years together.

The days drag on;
the weeks weed out
inconveniences until
months move us apart.

You are a lighthouse,
shining near the sea,
bringing peeps closer
as you’ve distanced
yourself from me.

I’ll always love you,
and I hope you find
whatever it is you
seek; I hope you find
your way back to me;
I hope you find peace.

Thanksgiving

Today
I drove
past a place
called
the Office of
Verisimilitude.

I am
thankful
for that.

That’s Entertainment!

They’ll hook you when you’re high
and leave you when you’re low.

That’s Me (The Gambler)

at times
I find
I might
be right

but when I’m not
I look up to God

and she looks away
and tells me I’m okay

and then I rest
my deflated head
and make a bet
on what she said

Theatre

I’m a soft guy
You’re a
You’re a
Hardened doll

The Age of Enlightenment

Footprints left behind
on decades-old parquet
make one wonder about
whether we’re even alive.

Candles lit by sin blowing
in the wind are something
like a song great composers
were afraid to have written.

What a time to write! So few
read anymore; your words
can be your own, but also
everyone’s—we’re so alone.

The Bar Is Low

wisdom cracks
empty glasses

don’t pour it on
too heavy or else

you might not know
how to keep it all in

The Dissolution

I really don't understand
my life
or how I got here. 

The Downward Spiral

Maybe I’ll investigate myself;
maybe I’ll invest in my scalp

I tried to climb many mountains
until I fell off a cliff at around 30.

At least I can say I have a son;
at least I can say I have a sign.

I’ve got fire in my belly and one
that burns stronger in my bones.

You think you’re hardcore, punk?
I’ll circle the pits of hell, if I must.

The Economy of Truths

The thing that business reminds
those of us who have none is:
even numbers lie sometimes.

The Gates of Moses

Board up the windows
Block out all the light

I never want to see
Another mistake
I’ve made or I might
Soon enough make

The temptations
To become a savior
Are always greater
Than they should be

And that which is
Ought to be is well
Not to be or just like
Naught in a past life

I grant you this okay
I was outfoxed again

The Good in America

My precious cargo
slowly slid into a sea
of decades-old stones.

What was there to do
aside from go inside
and sip on Palomas
and watch greyhounds
run in squared circles,
like young folks among
big-ass retail boxes?

Vans and humans alike
can’t stand the rules
of loading zone permits;
but men and machines
both idle—and we idolize,
and we idealize, and we
seem to think we can keep
shit together at the seams,
while wearing ourselves out.

What’s good, America?

The Instructor

I was going to say something—
you know, because I saw something.

But then, I decided to go home
and meditate, because conflict has
become so tiring...so tiresome?

I’m tired.

It’s tough to get out of bed
when your vertebrae and ribs
feel like a mallet
has been banged
against them
as if they are bony xylophones.

We’re all just ding-dongs,
after all.

The Murmurs

If I was in a twentieth-century band,
I feel like I would maybe think that
this would be a good name for it.

The Neuroses of Now

I shattered my fingernails
while cracking pistachios.

Don’t waste my avocado;
don’t save your breath.

It’s time to accept a hug
before this early death.

I’m sorry for overwhelming
you when we were younger.

We are who we are when
we fear the where of why.

Hey, how do you know what
is best for you and your exes?

The Police

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
They’ll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
They’ll be watching you

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
They’ll be watching you

The Power of Independent Thinking

I’ve been sniffing
essential oils
for days on end.

I want to feel
numb until
the end of days.

Shellac my skin,
put on some Slint;
hey, got any weed?

I’d feel a lot better
if I could smoke
some right now.

I mean, actually,
I’d prefer, like,
a candy maybe.

I’ve always been
more of an edible
type of guy, really.

Really, I might
already be high;
who am I, really?

The Protagonist

Some days
my life story
feels picaresque.

Other days
the narrative
becomes pathetic.

The thing about the thing

is that it’s never quite about
what you say it’s really about.

The Trivial Pursuit of Happiness

No set price is right.

The embarrassment of
capitalism is something
that will never leave us.

Looking back on the time
and money we’ve all spent,
how can we each not regret
the wastefulness of our days?

Chaos is current; hubris is heavy.

If I were to write a critique
that played both sides of
the same coin, do you think
it’d land on its good side?

Perhaps it’s the uncertainty of
losing our place in society that
leads us to jeopardize our lives.

If I’m wrong, I’d like to know.

The Truth Hurts

The punctuation
has been punctured.

Can you grab me
some scissors?

It’s time for
some sutures.

I will save language
for some, trust me.

Things Fall Apart

I feel like I might have
broken my ring finger.

I also feel like I might
just be getting older.

Thirtysomething Palms

Three question marks
emblazoned on a glass
darkened by the truths
that smother the lies
you’d otherwise tell me
and yourself bringing
nothing in between joy
and utter depression
could be desperation
on the rocks but here
is the thing about well
I don’t know what is this
poem about anyway okay
I’m still writing and I’m
still drinking and I’m still
feeling all the feelings.

This Is Nothing

I could be anyone,
but I am no one.

You could be anywhere,
but you are right here.

This could be anything,
but it is let’s face it…

Time and Space

Right around
the time when
I started to grow
hair on my body,

John Glenn was
orbiting Earth
again, and again
I was only a teen.

Time Spent (in a Growing Gully)

I walked back
from the castle
with a pile of wood.

I got blood
in my shoes
like I knew I would.

It’s possible to have
both goodwill
and bad vibes.

It’s impossible to see
if an expert
crosses your eyes.

Toasted Skin

Honestly, I have been on the hot seat
many times in my life;
lately, I have been on a heated bed,
and today, my back
told me it’s time to cool off a bit.

Travel Points

Where are you when
I wear you down most?

Try to fit some of me
into your suitcase?

Let’s go to the desert
or the beach for a week.

Let’s go the distance
for the first time again.

Trickle Down the Alps

Round up all the Reaganites
and send them to Davos—
they can create their own
private Australia and drink
as much overpriced wine as
they want, as long as they
do the time for their crimes;
they must also apologize to
each and every person whose
life they have ruined, and then
they must publicly admit that
the Laffer Curve is bullshit.

Trigger Finger

Try to bend
where the rubber
meets the joint.

Try to defend
whatever it was
you believed
to be the point.

Urban(e)

Dole out the dales!

I’m a city boy
but I’ve had
enough with
the concrete
in my shoes.

I’m a city boy
but I’ve had
enough with
the secrets
and the blues.

Deal with the dolts!

Valuation

Hypnotize
my mind’s eye;
pluralize
your problems.

It’s a loner’s grift;
it’s a loser’s graft.

Life, that is; life,
I mean, is worth,

I guess, whatever you deem
it to be (in food and dreams).

Verbal Voyage

A vowel crosses
a consonant and
where does it land?

Verlag Rag

I put pen to paper,
theoretically; see,
the material world
has become sort of
immaterial—so ink
dries in our minds,
and statements are
merely words we’ve
surrendered to time.

Vibes Aside

there are times
when a bag of dirt
is just necessary

or maybe instead
you need some
dry-ass timber

you can get it
from Canada

you can ship it
from Mexico

but when you
smooth out
all the soil

and when you
count each
chopped log

be sure to know
the sum of the lot

otherwise the goats
will tee up to feed

Virtual Reality

I tore some cartilage
and ripped a bong
in Carthage, at least
in my ancient dreams;

and it’s like, sometimes
all you need is some weed
to make you feel better
in your brain—and after all,
everything is connected,
and I’m falling apart.

That’s reality, that’s real;
that’s me being as real
with you as I think I can
be, and that’s reality.

Waiting to Inhale

Eight o’clock can’t come
soon enough — let me
do what I do, before you
choose to suffocate.

War: What’s It to You?

I dreamt I shared my life with someone I could call my wife. Instead, I dropped a pin on my favorite mid-life crisis. Some things just blow up in your face, no matter how hard you try to stay safe. Unwind the caution tape. Grab some chalk. Let’s draw some lines; boundaries are healthy.

Waves (Coming & Going)

I was a boy
before I became
a man and
that is perhaps the
dumbest statement
I could maybe make

it’s like saying
I believe in God
or something
slightly less bold

the self-conscious
woman in my life
asked me why
she can’t brush
her teeth in the kitchen
and spit that shit
into the sink

I replied with a what

I never try to tell
anyone about rules

punk is dead
but anarchy
lives forever

Ways

You think I
am scared
of loving you?

I fear nothing,
and nothing is
afraid of me.

We all just live
with the things
we’re willing to
dismiss as shit,

or at least those
which we piss
away in the wind;

we all have our ways,
isn’t that it, isn’t it?

We all have our ways.

Weekend Wilt

the water was
boiling for
the green tea

the wagon was
primed for
baby to command

it’s going to be such
a long day

it always is
these days though

Weight of My World

My son
is my number one,
and I’ve begun
to count the ways
in which he
can count on me.

My hands
are now fuller
than my heart;
my head
is now heavier
than an anvil.

Well, As Well

I used to refer to my anguish and anxiety as neuroses because that just seemed to be…easier, funnier, less concerning, less problematic. I didn’t want to be difficult; I didn’t want to be a downer. I didn’t want to concern anyone; I didn’t want to be a problem for anyone. This year, I decided to face facts, to face fears. You can’t get well until, well, you want to get well.

“Weird”

How does every surface
still get covered in filth
in the even the most
pristine of conditions?

How do messages
in bottles I empty
become new poems?

How is it that you
became such a jerk?

How many more years?

Weltanschauung

None of us
are nearly
as important
as we like to
think we are.

Wet Parable, Dry Humor

I decided to melt my face
on a Tuesday evening—
I dropped Georgie Boy
off near the Navy Yard
and fed a goat in an alley
not far from the old city.

Later that night, a bottle
of salty mineral water
leapt from my nightstand
like if Yves Klein was,
I dunno…in a Pixar movie,
or a claymation character.

By Wednesday morning,
I was a molten shell,
desperate for a Xanax
or a cig, or whatever
I could get; I settled for
a shower, I settled a bet.

If you can live on a line,
you can live out a life;
men keep getting kicked
in the nards, women keep
getting their tits slapped,
but no kind of pain is binary.

Whatever

today was a day like any other
day I drove up to the foothills
and got my fill of caffeine then
I bled ink upon my cotton tee
drank incense-infused booze
as I slid my cork soles along
the long concrete floors north
south east and west I guess
I could screw myself or you
or the world like Robert Earl
but also maybe I’ll just smoke
this blunt and hope for better
vibes until I ride or die whatever

What time is it?

two too many
weed gummies
and now here
I am stuck to
the floor with
my honey drip
dropping next
to me for hours

Who What When Where Why

I shrunk my skull
in some hot water.

How hot is too hot,
anyway? Any way

I slice your fruit, it
still tastes sweet.

Even when the knife
you loan me is rusty.

And when I’m out of
cold water, I’ll sip on

juice, but not that
overpriced stuff

made by preppy
graphic designers.

Hey, I was looking
at my calendar—

yes, I own a calendar,
and every month is

represented by an
animal, because

isn’t that what we all
are when we’re not

stuck at home, afraid
of rain and viruses?

Do you ever forget
what day it is, or

even what month
it is? Oh, no? Well,

if you feel like losing
track of your life,

I suggest starting
a family right away.

Window Pain

some days
as I type away
I take a break
and look through
the greasy glass
and think about
how things could
have been I dunno
different I guess
if I had just chosen
to live and let live

Wine & Cheese

Few things compare
to this particular pair.

This is how I hope
my wife and I learn
to complement each
other at some point.

But first, we need to get
better at complimenting.

Witching

I write
my best poems

when
I am
alive

between
the hours
of one
and five

World Wide Web

The Internet
doesn’t get
satire the way
it thinks it does.

Instead it gets
so caught up
in itself that it
becomes a joke.

Xanax

If I could,
I would
take three
every day:

Breakfast,
lunch,
and dinner;
check, please.

Yammy Yammy

I stepped on Old World stone
and felt the weight of Buddha.

I cobbled together some ideas
I had conceived the night before.

The sun is finally on its way up;
the crowds will soon get buck.

Some thoughts will make you rot;
sometimes what’s done is a don’t.

While others focus on pride or ego,
I strive for present-day humility.

Yawn, Art

My legs are skinny trees
standing parallel in a field;

my knees are knots, and I’m
stiff and I’m bored (so tired).

You Is Lewis

If there are saints,
they might sail up
rivers like salmon
or out to sea like
flailing Dutchmen.

If there are sinners,
they might sing up
on the corner like
an opioid revivalist;
I can see for miles.

Can you read what
I’m writing with your
lips? Can you pretend
that we’re linguists in
a herd on Lake Erie?

I hear cocks on every
street; I feel knots in
every joint. I’ll drink
gin and run for mayor,
as the delta floods.